How to Speak Truth to Yourself

I went to the doctor a few days ago. It was just a routine check up, and everything is fine!

You know what wasn’t fine? The number I saw on the scale when they weighed me at check in. I’ve never seen my number that big. I panicked for a hot second, so overcome with worry the cute little nurse would judge me for my number.

As I changed into my gown and waited for the doctor to come in my room to see me, I forced myself to turn off the alarm bells blaring in my head and remembered to speak these truths to myself:

1. I have consistently exercised at least 30 minutes three to four times a week since March (which is SO big for me! I haven’t been this consistent about exercise since high school) My legs and arms are becoming more defined, so the weight gain could be muscle.
2. I’m eating healthier options and drinking almost an entire gallon of water a day.
3. My mental, emotional and spiritual health has improved along with my physical health. Consistently showing up in all these areas has lowered my stress levels, bettered and motivated me to keep going.
4. Most importantly, my number does not define me, nor does yours define you.

Five years ago, that number would have devastated me. Heck, even two years ago, I would have been crushed. Due to our circumstances the last two or three years, I’ve really tried to focus on how to speak truth to myself. I needed to learn to show up and support myself when it felt like very few did or could. Speaking truth to ourselves, especially when toxic thoughts engulf our minds, is essential! 

Here’s how and what I’ve learned about speaking truth to myself:

First, I need to recognize when toxic thoughts are present. You’d think this would be pretty simple, right? However, sometimes it takes a minute to realize when I’ve bought into lies. Have you ever thought, “I would be happier if I had a bigger house, or fit into my skinny pants or made more money.” “I’m a terrible mother because ______.” Sometimes we think these things so often, we don’t realize they are untrue. Don’t buy into the lies, friends.

Second, I need to ground myself. What do I know with 100% certainty to be true? My name is Hannah; my husband is Hunter; I am deeply loved by the Lord. He did not create anyone by mistake; my life is filled with purpose which does not include the size of my waist.

Maybe grounding yourself sounds like, “My name is ______. My children are _____ and _____. God created them and knows every hair on their head. I love them deeply and provide and protect them to the best of my ability, which means I am a good mother.”

Or, “My name is ______. I work at ______. I make mistakes, which makes me human, but that does not mean I am not good at my job.”

Third, I need to stop these thoughts from coming back, and when they do, I need to be prepared. Memorize scripture about a personal weak point. One of my favorites is Psalm 139:14.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:14

Another favorite is Psalm 23:4:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

Psalm 23:4

Do you have a trusted friend who you can go to with this problem who you can count on to speak truth to yourself when you sometimes won’t be able to? Very dear friends of mine check up on me regularly, know my patterns of toxic thoughts and will recognize when to pull me out of a negative spiral.

Finally, remind yourself, “Would I say these thoughts to a friend or sister in Christ? If the answer is no, there is no reason for you to say those things to yourself. Being kind is not just reserved for your neighbor. 

Be kind to yourself, sister. You are loved, valued and needed.